I wonder why? ._.

I wonder why?._.
Why do I compare game with real life [rl].
Was it due to the hurt from the past?
Well talking to Lin helped but...
I still could not forget what I did...
The guilt in me has never left...
Even though I already let them go ._.
It's still in me.. Or is it cause I think too much..
Cupid?Fire? I don't want to remember anything about it!!!
I have to let my past go but...
Every anime song has patches of their memories..
The moment I chose to leave that clan.
I know I can never turn back.
Pretending?Lying? Why did I do all those?
For them to hate me?
WHY DA HELL AM I SO EMO!?!
I should have let it down!!!! WTH IS WRONG WITH ME!
I promised my darlings I won't be emo but..
My past is seriously hunting my future and stopping my every move.
I can no longer be that daring..
The first time I ever tried to confess was played by that person.
Second time was rejected nicely. But why do I keep falling down.
I want to stand up!! I'm not hurt!!! I just don't understand what is pulling me down.
And pressing on my wound!!! I really can't take this!!!

I just want a wish..
If I could get in an accident or anything! ANYTHING!! To allow me to forget the past.
That hunts me so badly!! I don't want my darlings to be worried about me.
And I also don't want them to hate me....
Sorry darlings This post is seriously emo.... >_<>
All I hope now is that my past will slowly slowly fade away ._.
And sorry kelly, celinny for making this post so emo ._.
Lin if your reading this you should know why ._."
Hehes =x Don't scold me o!!!! =D